The Magician's HorsesThe Magician’s Horses by Brian Bennett
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

The Magician’s Horses awoke my curiosity within the first few chapters and as I read further I found myself consistently wanting more. This story follows a young man, Dave, saving up for a trip to somewhere new by working odd jobs for extra cash. One of these jobs leads him to a particularly odd yet smart couple, Doc and Sally, who need help conducting an experiment they have been working on for a long time. Dave jumps on board with Doc and Sally’s experiment, not realizing how it will change his plans, or his life.

While Bennett does a great job building up the interest of Doc and Sally’s experiment and Dave’s part within it there is a lack of tension that makes the story fall a bit flat. The story falls into the hands of convenience as things repeatedly happen to work out for Dave without any problems or hardships. He grasps Doc and Sally’s concepts easily and any problem that occurs for Dave finds a solution quickly, if not right away. Since everything came so easily to him, it made it hard to know what Dave’s true struggle was within the book. An inner monologue from Dave would have given his character much more dimension.

Although Dave is the main character he is the one the reader is given the least information about. I constantly had trouble relating to Dave or understanding his character’s actions because a lot of his motives were never revealed. Doc and Sally are two of my favorite characters in the story because their motives are revealed and the reader understands them. Bennett does a great job of describing them and their character through the items that are scattered around their home. This is something the reader doesn’t get from Dave, descriptions of him are really brief and a lot of his back story doesn’t come until halfway through the book. If some of Dave’s back story was mentioned earlier in the book his character would have been much easier to connect to and understand. Because of this lack of back story the ending didn’t make as big as an impact that it should have.

There were certain ties between characters that weren’t as believable because the reader was never given the description of the bond forming. There are many instances I found Bennett skipping over scenes I would have enjoyed reading. In one instance, as Doc and Sally go through the many items in their apartment they tell stories to Dave, but Bennett never reveals any of these stories to the reader. It would have been great to see the dialogue of Doc and Sally telling Dave about their travels. The dialogue would have made the bond between these characters much stronger as the readers witnessed their growing relationship through the stories.

There is a great story within The Magician’s Horses, it just needed to be a longer book. I gave this book a rating of three because I enjoyed the story but I truly wanted more out of it. I found myself needing more description and action to balance out the lengthy narrative. While I enjoyed the fast pacing of the beginning and ending to the story, the middle was a bit too slow paced and started losing my interest. The Magician’s Horses will be a book that piques people’s interest but by the end they’ll be wishing there were a couple more hundred pages like I did.

*Note: This book was given to me through a Goodreads Giveaway*

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The Annotated Little WomenThe Annotated Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Little Women is an American classic coming-of-age story, brimming with realism during a time when fantastical stories were at large. The book follows the lives of the four young March sisters, observing their triumphs and failures from childhood through adulthood. Although the book was written primarily for young girls it can be quite an influential story for anyone, especially those experiencing change within their own lives.

Through the tasks and trials of the March sisters Alcott creates a timeless tale full of morals. Whether it be pride, anger, vanity, or even shyness Alcott portrays a vice within each sister, forcing them to face a moralistic choice between giving in or doing the right thing. All sisters manage to overcome their vices, but as a realistic story goes the sisters meet a few failures before of they do.

This particular edition of Little Women, annotated by the Pulitzer Prize winning John Matteson, adds immensely to the experience of the March sisters. Matteson brings the March family to life through his detailed annotations and images that illuminate each page with the inspiration behind each scene. In an early chapter Matteson immerses readers in Alcott’s time as the narrating character, Jo, brings blanc-mange to a sick Laurie and Matteson provides a detailed recipe alongside. It’s the little touches like this that make the annotations well worth reading although they can be repetitive at some points. Through the annotations readers receive more than a story they gain an understanding of the influences the author had throughout her life that led up to Little Women being written.

The introduction for Little Women was wonderfully written by Matteson as it discusses the impact the book has on many generations of women, including women today. The introduction also points out the many literary influences that helped form the theme of Little Women, The Pilgrim’s Progress by John Bunyan being the most drawn upon. Alcott growing up around many literary figures, her father being a known scholar, and herself reading many books helped her shape Little Women into the literary piece of art that it would become. Matteson continues to mark out all the events leading up to the Little Women’s publication in the section “We Really Live Most of It” and follows the life of Alcott once it was published making a great transition into the start of the book.

While I would highly recommend this annotated version of Little Women to all I know, there is one exception. New readers of Little Women be warned, that while this annotated version is an excellent edition it is more suited for previous readers. This is mainly due to the fact that the introduction and annotations touch on elements of foreshadowing which sometimes give away future events and major plot points that will occur later on within the book. It should be noted that this book is best for former readers of Little Women and big fans of Alcott that want to know more about her life and how much it related to Little Women.

*Noted: This book was given to me through Goodreads Giveaway*

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1. “Fix You” by Coldplay

This is my go-to song when I’m feeling blue. It’s like being understood without having to make an appointment with your therapist. If I’m not already crying before I put the song on I’ll be crying soon. The lyrics are filled with so much emotion and a beautiful orchestral sound. This song is great to listen to when dealing with loss as it was written about grief and getting through the loss of a loved one. Now listen and let Coldplay “Fix You” up a nice cry.

2. “Everytime” by Britney Spears

There are countless Britney songs that I can have a good cry to but this one forever takes the cake. The slow pop ballad with a heart-wrenching piano and breathy Britney vocals will tug at your heartstrings with the first note. A song written by Britney Spears that clearly shows her heartache and struggle and makes it easy to relate to when suffering your own heartache. It’s hard not to be moved by this song. Be prepared to have a lot of feelings when you listen and cry away!

*Note a young Stephen Dorff as her complicated love interest in the music video.

3. “How to Save a Life” by The Fray

I could not make this list without having How to Save a Life on it. Another song with the heartfelt piano pulling at your heart strings as you listen. This is one of my favorites because it’s up for interpretation, whatever the song makes you feel, it’s about what you’re dealing with. You can listen to this song after losing a loved one, after a heartbreak, or if you’re just struggling yourself. I bet you can’t listen to this song without singing along!

4. “Don’t Speak” by No Doubt

Gwen Stefani is phenomenal at writing heartbreak songs, as can be seen in Used to Love You, but Don’t Speak will forever be one of the best all-time break-up songs. Ever. I love cranking up this song when I need to have an angry cry and get frustration out. You don’t need to being going through a break-up to cry to this song. It’s good for feeling upset over lost relationships with lovers, friends, or family. Now get your cry on while belting out “Don’t Speak”.

5. “Everybody’s Changing” Keane

This song is more nostalgic sadness. A sadness you understand but still need to cry to. Things aren’t what they once wore and that can be sad. Let’s say this song is the soundtrack to those feelings. Feel the lyrics, drift with the piano, let those old memories wash over you and have a nice cry.

6. “It Ends Tonight” by The All-American Rejects

This is a great song to listen to when you just feel overwhelmed. I know I cry a lot when I get overwhelmed so this is a nice song to blast and let that frustration out. It’s okay to lose hope in things. It’s also okay to move on. But, for now just belt it out with the All-American Rejects below.

7. “Smile Like You Mean It” by The Killers

Hot Fuss was an unforgettable experience to me as a teenage girl. I will forever remember listening to Hot Fuss on repeat while I was visiting my aunt in San Francisco. This song is probably not a big pick for songs to cry to, but it’s special to me. Smile Like You Mean It is more downtempo than the more popular upbeat songs by The Killers. This particular song’s lyrics break the barrier knowing the pain behind the fake smile you put on to show you’re fine. It’s okay to not be fine and this song gets that. So, don’t be fine as you listen to Smile Like You Mean It.

8. “Say Something” by A Great Big World

This is one of those songs that use soft instruments, single notes on the piano, a beautiful medley with heart-breaking lyrics. You’re heart just aches listening. Such powerful vocals full of emotion that will quickly move you to tears bringing old pain up sometimes. If you’re having trouble letting something go this song is you ode.

9. “Someone Like You” Adele

There will always be people who come into your life and make a huge impact. They can be around for years, months, even a couple weeks. You’ll always remember the effect they had on you. They may be no longer in your life for a multitude of reasons. Some good, some bad. It still hurts. Adele is good at capturing that pain. It would be crazy not to include one of pain filled songs that understand heartbreak and just trying to get through it. Cry out with Adele below.

10. “Let it Be” by The Beatles/Across the Universe

The Beatles have been with me throughout my life, many of their songs coming into play at different moments. It would have felt wrong if I didn’t include a song by them. I would listen to this song in my times of trouble and it would help me release my feelings. I actually included the Across the Universe version of the song because it held quite a bit more emotion than Paul McCartney’s, although I still absolutely love his version. While I enjoy both, the Across the Universe scene is so moving with it’s portrayal of death and pain that it’s better to listen to and watch when I need a good cry. Cry your pain out with them!


If none of those songs made you cry, which I highly doubt, then here you get one bonus song. You can not escape the sadness that this song brings.


March 12, 2015

Can you believe it?

We exist here. Now. In time and space.

Can you feel this?

The warmth of my hand upon your face.

Do you hear that?

The loud thumping as my heart begins to race.

Do you see it?

The epitome of love in the human race.

Language of the Eyes

December 30, 2014

To speak with the eyes is

A conversation in silence.



Each emphasizing

A different story

With the aid of brows

That rise up,

Furrow together.

Beware those

That come between

Eyes meant for others.

There can be




Leading to fury,

For eyes


A powerful language.

The Struggle

July 3, 2014

Lately I have been constantly pondering what I should do in my life. This is on my mind since I recently graduated from college with a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology.

My plan is to continue with graduate school as that’s the only way I can get a good job in the mental health field.

The only problem is I keep coming face-to-face with the thought of “what truly makes me happy?” I can honestly say I’m completely unsure about the answer to this question.
I thought becoming a clinical psychologist is what I truly wanted but so many road blocks keep coming in my way and I feel unsure if that’s what I really want.

I have been asking myself what I want, what will make me happy and love my life but I come up empty.
I’ve tried to turn to my dreams because I use them sometimes as insight into my inner self but I haven’t gotten anything out of them.

I just don’t know how to figure myself out. I can understand other people and see what makes them happy and see what they want to do in life but I’m not as perceptive of myself. Sometimes I feel like a stranger. I know you can’t figure out your life in a couple months but I hate this feeling of uncertainty. I just wish someone would tell me what to do or what I want because I am so indecisive and I am just clueless.

I took a scriptwriting class and learned how to format a script and wrote a few pages of things here and there.

It was a great learning experience and I believe I have really started producing something of great quality. It’s actually the first time I’ve written something, read what I wrote, and not hated it afterwards.

So far I have written one act of my script, it’s a little over 20 pages long. I don’t want it to be super long and I pretty much have idea of where I want it to go in my head. Inspiration strikes me at the oddest time though. When I’m blasting music on my drive from Orlando to Miami. Now let me tell you, it’s kind of hard to write a script while driving. So, I still only have the first act done. I really want to develop this script and complete it I’m just having trouble putting my thoughts onto the page.

Well I’ve been going on about this script without revealing the basis of the story. Alas reader, I shall inform you. It’s a simple script, in my opinion, about a young man who is a fairly recent widow and dealing with his grief. He is sort of dealing with it in an odd way by forming an immensely close relationship with his cat Bliss. The story goes on from there showing the problems he encounters because of this relationship and dealing with the grief of losing his wife.

So that is what my in progress script is about, now I just need to get the rest of the script (it’s currently in my heard) onto the page. I don’t know why it’s so hard but this is something I really want to complete. I don’t know what I’m going to do with it once it’s finished but I really want to finish it. Maybe I should put it in my “schedule” (not that I really have one). Maybe I should attempt to write it while driving (don’t worry I won’t really do that-I am somewhat of a safe driver). I do plan on finishing it though and I guess right now I am obligating myself by setting a goal to finish it before the end of this year! Ha future me! I got you roped into this now.

Signing off, thanks for listening/reading (if you got this far down).

I do appreciate it.


Be Yourself

June 18, 2014

It’s funny how as humans we watch each other, judge each other, envy each other. I know I even do it myself. The age of social media has kicked this into high gear. It makes people constantly compare themselves to everyone else. But what we tend to forget is we’re only seeing the things people choose to share. Things that are usually to show off something they’re proud,an accomplishment, or just a fun vacation.

My point is that we shouldn’t compare ourselves to these other people. Yes they may be traveling or doing something you’re not but it doesn’t make them better than you and it doesn’t help to dwell on the fact that they get to do what you want.

We need to stop focusing on others and focus more on ourselves. Forget what everyone else is doing. If what you’re doing makes you feel happy, good! And don’t let what other people are doing you feel bad about that. If you’re unhappy though don’t look at others and think “what am i doing wrong?”, instead look at yourself and think “what can I do to make myself happy?”.

Be yourself. Don’t be what you think others want to see and don’t be what you see in others.


Fear of the Dark

June 12, 2014

For a large percentage of my life darkness has been a huge fear of mine. I can’t tell if has gotten worse or remained the same. I do know that being somewhere that is pitch black, especially all by myself, produces a scream in my throat and the tightening of all the muscles in my body. I will stand paralyzed and close my eyes to the darkness that I can control myself.

I’ve learned to stay away from this type of darkness by having a little light in my life constantly. As a child I had my nightlight always ready to switch on after my mother tucked me tightly into bed, reminding me not to let the bed bugs bite, before she turned off my lamp that lightened up the entire room. I further protected myself with a plethora of stuffed animals. They were my guards. And I always kept my glow-in-the-dark bear closest to my heart.

As I grew I traded my night light to the soft glow of my television screen, and was guarded by only one stuffed animal and a body pillow. I’ve tested myself and attempted to fall asleep without any light. I’ve managed to do this only when I have been extremely exhausted and could barely keep my eyes open. Even when I manage to fall asleep in complete darkness I will sometimes wake up in the middle of the night, the fear will present itself and I will quickly scramble for the power button on the remote.

I feel I must go into more detail on why darkness has such an affect on me. I believe it’s more than just darkness. It’s actually the combination of darkness and the silence I hear. Without the television on I have no light or sound and can hear every movement outside my windows and throughout the house. Every little sound will scare me because it is unknown. It makes it harder for me to sleep as it makes my thoughts race. What if someone is in the house? Some stranger? Some weird presence? Nothing good happens in the darkness and I hate not being to see the things that make the noise. That is why the fear of darkness really eats me up because it makes my thoughts louder than ever and they can go to some really dark places that I can’t bring myself back from.

The biggest help is having someone nearby. Another room helps a little. But sleeping with someone by my side is the ultimate treasure. Forget an empty house, I can’t do it, just thinking about it gives me the chills. Sleeping near someone makes it easy to handle the darkness because I know I’m not alone. Plus, they can tell me I’m being silly when i share my thoughts on some random intruder coming in to murder us.

I do hope one day I can teach myself to be able to sit in complete darkness while wide awake and not have the paralyzing fear that the darkness causes me now. I believe I can do it but for now I’m happy just having someone by my side.


June 7, 2014

I am giving life to this once again.

I must allow my creative juices to flow. No limitations to myself. No excuses to hold back and write another day.

I will be there for those in need. I will provide a unique outlook. I will reveal my true self.

I have my own questions I will put out and give forth to the world.

I want responses, and welcome them. But silence is pleasing too.

Whoever you are I am here for you. This is a safe place. I just want to listen and share my experiences.

Let us begin again.

I am here now and in the future. Hear me shout into the void and shout back!


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